We, the Indians

WE, THE INDIANS

We, the Indian denizens:

1. We will not follow COVID appropriate behaviour and party with friends and family the moment lockdown restrictions are lifted.
2. We will find ways to flout the ‘50 person’ limit on weddings and social gatherings by ‘breaking up’ the function booking into multiple bookings in cahoots with the hotel/banquet.
3. We will get together for religious gatherings like the kumbh or jamaat flouting masking and social distancing norms (yes the crowd in these is we, the Indian masses, not the politicians) and blame the politicians when it turns to be a super spreader, as if the politicians forced us to attend.
4. We (the ‘farmers’) will get together for days for protests – without wearing masks or social distancing as if protests are exempt from COVID appropriate behaviour.
5. We will crowd at liquor shops without any regard for social distancing or proper masking since Alcohol kills COVID.
6. We will find ways to get the vaccine shots for ourselves and our staff by posing as frontline workers or some other jugaad even when we are not in the eligible category, and later lament about the shortage of vaccines.
7. We will hoard oxygen cylinders and medicines.
8. We will make fake versions of critical medicines like Remdesivir and sell these in black.
9. We will engage in profiteering of oxygen concentrators by the hundreds and abscond when our premises is raided.
10. We (oxygen plants) will charge astronomical amounts for refilling of oxygen cylinders.
11. We (ambulance operators) will charge illegally high rates for carrying patients from their home to hospital or from hospital to the mortuary.
12. We (nursing homes) will overcharge patients in time of crisis levying as much as INR 75,000 per day.
13. We (the doctors) will not let ambulance into the hospital gates and will shoo the patient away saying ‘dimaag mat kharaab karo, kahin aur jaao’.
14. We (the administrators of hospitals and COVID care centers) will turn patients away saying that we will only accept those patients whose oxygen saturation is more than 90%.
15. We (the operators of mortuaries) will charge astronomical amounts for providing last rite services.
16. We will shame our country on International television and social media for lack of amenities (which is an issue not unique to India but experienced by US, Italy, Spain and many others at the peak of the pandemic wave).
17. We will criticize projects like the Central Vista on grounds of COVID as if it’s the personal residence of a single politician being built and not a building of importance for the Country, but we will also go abroad and take selfies in front of White House or Buckingham Palace.
18. We will criticize politicians for holding political rallies but not the masses who attended it. In fact, we will criticize only a particular party for holding political rallies as if the rallies held by the other political parties were COVID immune.
19. We will criticize and shame our electoral process (world’s biggest democratic process) saying the EVMs are rigged when a particular political party wins and have no issues with EVMs when another political party wins.
20. We will criticize our leaders for mishandling COVID situation – yes they deserve to be criticized as they have dropped the ball – but reserve the criticism for only that political party that we hate – whereas the CMs of all the states (belonging to all parties) are equally responsible for the debacle of unpreparedness.
21. We will hail international agencies and foreign countries when they condemn our actions of self defence such as Balakot Strike, but stay silent when a similar action (on a much larger scale) is undertaken by Israel in Gaza.
22. We will shame our country for being ‘intolerant’ on reports of stray incidents of violence which may or may not be motivated on religious grounds. Yet we will portray these as being not only cases of religious intolerance but also as if these are state sponsored. But we will stay silent when similar incidents occur in places like USA with killing of black people or Asians in Gun violence.

In the end, we will not introspect our abhorrent behaviour and double standards, but simply blame the whole thing on one man “Yeh Bhi Modi Ki Galti Hai” and go on with our everyday misdoings.

Kudos, to us Indians. We cannot manage basic tasks at our end but expect perfection from the politicians and bureaucrats who are managing complex situations.

If you want to learn something from the West, learn how to feel pride for your country rather than shaming it day and night just because you do not like a particular political party or political leader.

Published on www.anshumankhanna.in

© Anshuman Khanna. 2021